Diego (Ice Age) vs. Shere Khan
Diego (Ice Age) vs. Shere Khan is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Diego from the Ice Age media franchise, and Shere Khan from the Disney Jungle Book movies. Description Lions and tigers are some of the biggest cats that ever lived, and some of the most frightening. In this battle we bring together a fearsome cat of the Ice Age, and one of the most feared hunters of South Asia, and may the biggest and baddest cat win! Interlude Wiz: Big cats, often the most formidable hunters in their environments. Boomstick: Lions and tigers, they strike fear into the hearts of humans and animals alike. Wiz: And when our distant ancestors huddled around their campfires, they spied hungry eyes peering at them out of the darkness – large, feline eyes. Boomstick: In this battle, we bring together two great cats from cartoon movies. Wiz: The first is Diego, the Ice Age smilodon from the Ice Age media franchise. Boomstick: And the second in Shere Khan, the ferocious Bengal tiger from Disney’s Jungle Book movies. Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick. Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Diego Wiz: Smilodon, also known as the saber-toothed tiger, was one of the most formidable hunters from the Pleistocene. Hunting in packs, they brought down large prey with their formidable mass, and then dispatched them quickly with their dagger-like fangs. The S. populator was the largest specie of smilodon, but was native to South America. Diego was most likely a S. fatalis, which was the largest species to roam North America. Boomstick: Now, as a “fatalist...” Wiz: Close. Boomstick: Diego was probably about 39 inches tall, 70 inches long, and weighed in at about 600 pounds. No matter how you slice it, that’s a lot of kitty cat. Wiz: While these cats are most known for their 11-inch long canines... Boomstick: Canines? Doesn’t that make them dogs? Wiz: Many mammals have extra long teeth near the front of their mouths. They are referred to as fangs or canines, but also as cuspids, or, in the case of the upper ones, eye teeth. Not just dogs have them. Boomstick: You should have seen the ones on my cousin, Francine. She could use them to bite open a beer can like some sort of beer vampire! It was frightening. Wiz: Eee. Anyway, when you look at a smilodon skeleton, the first thing you notice after the teeth is the size of the bones. The smilodon had a rather small hind end, but large and thick bones in its shoulders and forelimbs. The next thing you may or may not notice is the near absence of a tail. Modern cats use their tails for balance when they are running. This allows them to outrun a fleeing prey animal. Boomstick: The saber-tooth’s lack of a tail means that it was probably not too good at chasing down fleeing prey. Instead, it more likely counted on being able to ambush an animal, jumping onto it and taking it down before it could flee. It would then use its heavy front end, which gives the cat a shape like a wrestler, to climb onto a large prey animal, like a bison or a mammoth, and wrestle it to the ground. Wiz: The smilodon did not have the formidable claws often associated with modern cats, though it did have claws. What it did have, though, was a thick, hook-like claw on its thumb, which it could use to hold tight onto its prey. Boomstick: Though, we are not entirely certain how these cats killed, it’s thought that they would work to quickly drag down a large animal, open their mouths an impossible 120 degrees, and then rip into its neck, severing the arteries, and dispatching it quickly. Wiz: Now, when it comes to fighting, we see the smilodon’s of the Ice Age movies mostly fighting by using their forepaws as fists. We see the smilodon pack leader, Soto, strike Diego, sending him flying off into a rock, and we see Diego fight the guanlongs in the third movie, he similarly strikes them with a swipe of his paw, sending them flying. Boomstick: And, this is not a bad way for the saber cats to fight. Their thick arm bones were covered with some really powerful muscles, which would have made their punches truly formidable. Wiz: And when it comes to defense, the smilodon also had a very muscular neck, which means that any opponent going for the creature’s throat will face a tough time indeed. Boomstick: But, there is one way in which the saber-tooth tigers were inferior to modern big cats, and that’s in the bite department. Wiz: That’s right, while the smilodon has some impressive fangs, its bite force was probably a good deal weaker than that of a modern cat. It apparent did not use its fangs so much for biting, as it did for slashing. Boomstick: But, we don’t see him doing much in the way of bighting. Diego is more of a fist-fighter, counting on his dukes to do his talking for him. So, don’t smile at this smiley-don, he’s a formidable fighter who is specialized for killing large and dangerous animals! Shere Khan Wiz: Some say that the great white shark is the perfect predator. But if you look at land-based predators, one definite candidate for that title would be the Bengal tiger, one of the biggest cats that ever existed. Boomstick: And, one of the most famous of Bengal tigers has got to be Shere Khan, the villain of Disney’s Jungle Book movies. Wiz: Shere Khan is probably about 43 inches tall, 77 inches long (not counting his tail), and weighs in at about 700 pounds. Boomstick: And, what does a 700 pound cat eat? Pretty much anything it wants, though they prefer animals that weigh in at at least 200 pounds, like deer, wild boar, water buffalo, and other big critters. Wiz: And while they don’t prefer to hunt other carnivores, they will if they get hungry enough. Bengal tigers have been known to kill leopards, wolves, bears and even crocodiles. Boomstick: Yeah, the Bengal tiger is a large, but very pretty, package of bad-assness. Wiz: Shere Khan has a reputation as a deadly opponent. In the 2017 Jungle Book movie, we see him kill a wolf in about two seconds, and we see him outfight a bear, a pack of wolves, and a black panther, all without suffering any serious damage. Boomstick: Bengal tigers routinely take down animals three times their size by leaping on them, wrestling them to the ground, and biting their throat. These kitties have three-inch long fangs, and a bite force measuring in at at least five times that of a human. Wiz: No less frightening are a tiger’s claws which are around four inches long, and are extremely sharp. They have a distinctive backward curve to them, which allows the tiger to use them for grappling with an opponent, but their sharpness allows the cat to a lot of damage with one swipe of its paw. The claws will easily puncture the opponent’s skin, and the powerful musculature of the car allows it to pull the claws along, opening the opponent up. Boomstick: Shere Khan is an expert in displaying and using his claws. In the 1967 Jungle Book, he often brings them out, like a thug with a switchblade, and he runs one around the nostril of Kaa the Python, without causing him any harm. And that ain’t no joke. Tiger’s can sheath their claw like a house cat, and then bring them out only when they are needed. Wiz: The tiger has been around for at least 2 million years, and the Bengal tiger is one of the biggest tigers that ever lived. Boomstick: And you do NOT want to meet one that is hungry, or just plain pissed off. They are 700 pounds of pure kitty meanness. Intermission Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: But first, a word from our sponsor. When I get home from a hard day on the gun range, I wanna grab me some Hiney! Wiz: Hiney Wine is the finest wine to come from Herculaneum, Missouri. Taken at the height of its flavor, it is sealed in easy to carry and easy to open flip-tip aluminum cans. Boomstick: Yep, you heard right! Now, you can take fine wine with you anywhere you go: to the beach, to the demolition derby, or even when you’re out cruising. Wiz: Ahem. Boomstick, remember what happened last time? Boomstick: Oh, that’s right; the police have some silly, namby pamby rules about that. OK, don’t take them when you’re out cruising. But, take them just about everywhere else. Wiz: Hiney Wine, the best wine to come from the American Midwest. Boomstick: Grab a six-pack to go, or a 24 case for a quiet night at home! Wiz: Got your hands on your Hiney? Boomstick: Because it’s time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! Pre-Fight Diego was trailing behind Manfred and Sid, constantly looking left and right. Something was wrong; he could feel it in his bones. It was like an itch that he couldn’t scratch. The other two passed into a large cave, and out of Diego’s sight. He took one last look behind him, and then jogged to catch up to the others. As he crossed the threshold of the cave, he felt a wave of disorientation. The cave seemed to swim before his eyes. Diego blinked his eyes and then raced to catch up to the other two. This mission to capture the baby for Soto was turning into a nightmare...into even more of a nightmare. * * * Shere Khan was delighted by the news that Bagheera had lost the man-cub. It seemed that every animal in the jungle had lost its mind, and was trying to protect the man-cub from him. But, once the mighty tiger had set his heart on a prey, its fate was sealed. He put his nose to the ground and sniffed. A faint smell pointed toward a nearby cave. Shere Khan felt unseen eyes upon him. He put his ears back, and swiveled his head, examining the jungle about him. He could detect nothing. Perhaps there was a bandar-log in the trees, a spy for that fool King Louie. A low growl issued from Shere Khan’s throat. One day he would have to deal with that obnoxious creature...but not today. He was determined that the man-cub would not live to see another sunrise. He slinked through the mouth of the cave, and was suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea. He shook his head to clear his vision, and peered around him. Countless smells assailed his nose, many of them unfamiliar to him. He could not understand why he had not smelled them outside the cave. But one smell was very clear to him, the scent of man. He leaped forward and around a bend. The sight that met him caused him to pull up short. * * * A noise caused Diego to stop in his tracks and turn around. There behind him stood the strangest-looking cat he had ever seen. It was shaped somewhat like a cougar, but much, much larger. And its coloration was bizarre, to say the least. On the plains outside, the cat would stick out like a sore paw. The cat blinked at him, and then began to move forward. It slinked along in near silence, but the muscles rippling under its colorful fur bespoke great power. Diego sniffed the air. Him – it was definitely a “him.” “What do you want?” Diego demanded of the intruder. The cat looked at him menacingly, and then spoke. “Up ahead, there is a man-cub. He is mine, and I will go through anyone and anything to get him.” Diego gave a short guffaw. “Get in line. That baby is one popular kid.” The tiger began walking forward, his eyes never leaving the saber. “''I don’t recognize your kind, so perhaps you don’t know who I am. I am Shere Khan, the greatest hunter on the Waingunga, and where I go my word is law. Those who stand in my way soon regret it. Now move aside.”'' Diego spread his forelimbs, and put his head down, assuming a fighting stance. “Well, Shere Khan,” he said levelly, “I am Diego, a member of the most powerful saber cat pack on these plains, and that kid and the others are under my protection.” Shere Khan stopped, his nose a mere inches from Diego’s. “You are a fool to deny me. And now you will pay the price!” Both cats reared up on their hind legs with a roar, their paws coming up to strike. FIGHT! ' Shere Khan’s paw struck a glancing blow across Diego’s cheek, his claws leaving three bloody scratches. Almost simultaneously, Diego’s paw slammed into the side of Shere Khan’s head. The force of the blow sent the tiger flying to the side. Shere Khan rolled to his feet, and shook his head. He had fought Baloo the sloth bear, and felt the force of his blows. This creature struck with the same power. He was a cat, but of a kind Shere Khan had never even heard of. He put his head down, and began slinking towards his opponent. When he saw Diego prepare to leap, he pulled himself back, and leaped at the same time. The two mighty cats collided in midair, but Shere Khan’s leap had more power, and he drove his opponent back. He grabbed the saber’s throat, and began to squeeze, hoping to quickly suffocate the interloper. To his surprise the cat’s neck seemed to be made of muscles, making it as hard as a log. Diego roared, and clawed at the tiger. Finally, his claws found purchase on the big cat, and he pulled him to the side, releasing his grip on his throat. The two cats rolled along the floor of the cave, snarling and roaring at each other. Shere Khan pushed with his hind legs, and slid onto Diego’s back. He bit into the back of the big cat’s neck, hoping to sever his spinal column, but again was frustrated by the shear strength of the saber’s musculature. Diego rolled under the tiger, painfully breaking his lock on his neck. He came up, and delivered a powerful blow, which sent the tiger flying into the side of the cave. Diego stood up, blood matting the fur around his neck. He looked over at the striped cat, in time to seem him slide to the floor. Seizing his moment, Diego leaped onto the tiger, and dragged him away from the wall. He used his arms to pin the tiger down, and eyed his exposed throat. Shere Khan looked up at the saber, and saw him opening his mouth impossibly far, fully exposing his dagger-like teeth. He summoned all his strength, and fought in the other cat’s grip. The saber-teeth came down and pierced Shere Khan’s shoulder. The tiger screamed out in pain and anger. Diego pulled his head back, and prepared to stab again with his teeth, when Shere Khan pulled his hind legs up, and kicked the saber in the face, sending him backwards, and releasing the tiger from his grip. Sensing a moment, Shere Khan leaped to his feet, and leaped past the saber, running at full speed in the direction that the cat did not want him to go. Diego ran after his striped opponent, and seemed to be catching up to him. Suddenly, at a wide spot in the cave, Shere Khan executed a tight turn, reversing a full 180 degrees. Diego tried to match the turn, but his weight took him over, onto the floor. Shere Khan was on the fallen smilodon in a heartbeat. He reared up, and slashed at the cat’s exposed stomach with all his might. His razor-sharp claws sliced the skin, sending blood flying. Diego’s right fore-paw shot out, delivering a strong hit to the side of Shere Khan’s head. But, before he could rise, the tiger was back on him. He rolled the saber cat over, and leaped on him, pinning him down with his full weight. Then, he snapped his jaws down on the cat’s throat, and bit down as hard as his muscles would allow. Diego writhed in Shere Khan’s grasp. He tightened his muscles, and tried to hold off the unbelievably powerful bite. The tiger’s bite had closed his air passage, and lungs screamed for breath. Diego tried to shift his body, but his opponent’s shear weight kept him from moving enough to help. He beat at the tiger’s body, but could not shake him off. The lights began to dim, and Diego felt the pain move further and further off. Finally, his consciousness slipped away, and he was left at the mercy of Shere Khan, who knew no mercy. '''K.O.! ' Having disposed of the foolish cat, Shere Khan ran on through the cave. He got to an opening in the cave, and looked out at the jungle of the Waingunga. He didn’t see the man-cub, but he would not allow him to escape. He leaped through the opening, and ran on. * * * Manny, Sid and the baby slid down the ice flow at the end of the cave, and looked back, expecting Diego to slide down behind them. “Where is he?” Sid asked. “Who knows,” Manfred scoffed. “Perhaps the mighty hunter found a mouse to chase. He’ll catch up eventually. Come on.” The two animals turned, and continued off on the frozen plain, slowly catching up to the migrating humans. Results '''Boomstick: That was a wild battle. Wiz: Yeah, those two big cats were very different, but at the same time, they were very well balanced. They each had their strengths. Boomstick: Diego had a stronger upper-body, and if he could have gotten those saber-teeth (Saber-teeth? Whatever.) into Shere Khan’s neck, it would have been light’s out for him. Wiz: But, Shere Khan was larger than Diego, had a much more powerful bite, and had larger and sharper claws. Boomstick: But, more than anything, Diego had a huge weakness. You see, Shere Khan was a heck of a fighter, taking on Baloo, the wolf pack and Bagheera, and winning through all of them. Diego was just not shown to be that good of a fighter. Wiz: When he took on Soto, the leader of his pack, Diego was completely dominated by him. Meeting such a fierce opponent as Shere Khan was a... Boomstick: Cat-tastrophe? Wiz: That was an old joke. Boomstick: Really? I thought it was purr-fect. Wiz: Anyway, the winner if Shere Khan. Trivia Category:What-If? 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Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019